Lovie Smith announced today that he will be giving his quarterback an early Christmas present: a brand new, talented offensive line.

“I really wanted to wait until the big day to give it to him, but without his present he may not make it to Christmas in one piece,” said Smith.

Cutler has been unavailable to comment, because he fell asleep out of excitement like a six-year-old shortly after having his new line show up with coach Smith to Jay’s Thanksgiving gathering in The Hills.