As families gathered around the dinner table this Thursday, many people gave thanks for the important things in life. Bears offensive tackle Gabe Carimi, for example, is happy to still be employed after last Monday’s performance.

Carimi helped set an all-time Bears record Monday night when he was part of the two headed turnstile that allowed 49ers defensive end Aldon Smith set a sacks allowed for a single player record at 17.5.

On a related note, Bears quarterback Jay Cutler was most thankful for not having to play Monday night.

“When I first met the now-unemployed first round pick Chris Williams last year, he told me something that was handed down to him by the immortal Frank Omiyale,” said a humbled Carimi. “The natural progression of a Bears tackle is as follows: injured in college; Bears reach and talk you up; allow five sacks in a game; injured in pros; benched; move to guard; still suck.”

Added Carimi: “I’m thankful this holiday I still have two steps left!”

Brew Dreesus