In the late season frenzy to dump veterans and acquire prospects, the Cubs inadvertently dealt their TV broadcast team of Bob Brenly and Len Kasper, receiving a pair of minor league announcers and a team mascot in exchange.

“Look, things happen when it gets crazy busy,” said Theo Epstein, the team’s president of baseball operations. “Bob and Len are both in contract years next season and their names accidentally ended up on the list of guys to move before season’s end. We apologize to both of them and wish them well in Buffalo.”

Brenly and Kasper will be the 2013 announcing team for the Buffalo Bisons, the Triple-A affiliate of the Toronto Blue Jays. Kasper expressed shock at the news he’d been dealt.

“After putting on the happy face for one crappy Cubs team after another,” said Kasper, “I thought I deserved more than to be sent to god-foresaken Buffalo.”

The Cubs received the Bisons’ radio broadcasters, Alex Gardner and Howie Mann, who are both signed to long-term contracts at favorable terms. Gardner and Mann have no Major League broadcast experience but are well-regarded by talent scouts. “These guys are both keepers, you can absolutely build around them,” stated media agent Jake Vendini.

Also coming to the Cubs is Buffalo’s beloved team mascot, Bernie Bison. Cubs Chairman Tom Ricketts was especially excited about acquiring Bernie. “Our family owns a bison farm, we sell bison dogs at Wrigley, and he’s a veteran mascot. How can this not be a perfect fit?”

CarlTHeckler