Desperate to raise cash after getting hit with a $60 million fine by the NCAA Monday, Penn State listed the now-removed Joe Paterno statue on eBay, where it hopes to fetch top dollar for the otherwise useless 900-pound piece of bronze that stood outside Beaver Stadium until yesterday.

“With our football program no longer the source of income it once was, we now must find new ways to bring in the revenue needed to pay the huge fine the NCAA levied against us,” said Rodney Erickson. “We have this huge piece of metal honoring a guy some people still love even though it’s pretty clear he probably wasn’t all that great of a guy in the first place.”

Erickson said the statue was posted with an opening bid of $1 and a “Buy it Now” price of $60 million. So far bidding was up to just $199.21 cents.

“We hope it gets us as close to $60 million as possible, but honestly, we’d settle for even a dollar just to take this damn thing off our hands,” said Erickson. “Maybe for a few bucks extra they’ll remove the stench it’s left behind too.”