As the Chicago Cubs promotional team unveiled a new line of Bobbleheads for the 2012 roster, they have added a new tweak to the dolls’ design to ensure that, instead of bobbing up and down, they can only shake their heads in a sad, disapproving manner.

“I like the new Bobblehead,” said starting pitcher Jeff Samardzija, the first Cub player to be represented by the new design. “It really captures my likeness and conveys how I feel when I give up one run over seven innings only to get a no-decision when the bullpen gives up three runs in the eighth inning. It’s hard to capture the sadness and frustration of watching a quality start get squandered by a stagnant offense and ineffective bullpen, but this doll really gets it right. It just stares deep into my soul with its cold, lifeless eyes, reminding me that I should have signed with the Dodgers.”

The Cubs marketing team has also issued a press release stating that a Theo Epstein Bobblehead will be given away to fans as a promotional item, featuring a likeness of the team’s GM which can only shrug with a speech bubble saying, “I wish I were back in Boston” appearing intermittently.

By Jeff GoodSmith

Jeff GoodSmith