A.J. Pierzynski found himself in the middle of another fracas this week in Tampa against the Rays. Here are the Top 10 was the White Sox catcher normally agitates his opponents:

10 – After catching pitch asks hitter to throw ball back to pitcher to save wear and tear on his arm.

9 – Hits mother***ing .300 motherf***ers!!!

8 – Dyes his hair blonde. All his hair. Even hair below the Equator.

7 – After a Sox win he gives opposing players those shaving cream on-camera facials.

6 – Often replaces bases with Whoopee cushions.

5 – Breaks wind in catcher’s face while hitting, blames home plate ump.

4 – Leaves note at home plate for opposing catcher before game, asking him how their wife and his kids are.

3 – Doesn’t turn off cell phone ringer during games, answers calls during opponent at-bats.

2 – Due to Illinois’ lax usury laws lends opposing players money with ridiculous interest rates, breaks their kneecaps when a payment is late.

1 – Whines more than Bill Laimbeer, the Gasol brothers and the Miami Heat combined during each and every game.

Patrick O. Elia