On the shelf for the rest of the season after undergoing Tommy John Thursday, offbeat Giants closer Brian Wilson has pledged to return more insane than ever.

“I’m a ninja, man, and this is just me getting my ninja-ness repaired,” said Wilson, wearing a leather S&M mask and camouflage sling for his throwing arm and shotgunning a Red Bull with his other hand. “Mark my words, man, next year I’ll be wackier than ever.”

As for his fastball, Wilson wasn’t quite as confident.

“Oh yeah, that thing,” said Wilson about his fastball. “I’m not so sure about that, but as long as my lush beard is good and black and the Machine makes a couple of appearances with me next year, I should be just fine, don’t you think? Ninja out.”