In an effort to provide an alternative viewing option for women who don’t want to watch Super Bowl VLI, Lifetime has unveiled a new “TV event” featuring a 6-hour block of pure sappiness.

“We’ll start off with a riveting original movie about a divorced woman who thought she would never find love again … but then she totally does!” said Lifetime exec Sally Wolderson. “It’s really cute and heartwarming all at the same time! Then of course we have the 2-hour block of men proposing to women in just the most precious ways ever.”

The “Sappy Bowl” will conclude with a live chat with no fewer than four different B-list actors who will reveal what they look for in the perfect mate.

Heckler George