Standing outside his off-season training facility, Chicago White Sox second baseman Gordon Beckham shook his head at the news that David Beckham re-signed with Major League Soccer for two more years.

“Here we go again,” said the baseball Beckham. “Why couldn’t he go back and play in Europe? I am dreading spring training.”

According to Baseball Prospectus, Gordon Beckham is one of three baseball players in the live ball era to actually get worse in every statistical category in his first three years in the majors. The Sox second baseman cites David Beckham’s first contract in the states as the beginning of his downfall.

“Every guy I play catch with thinks he’s hilarious by telling me ‘Come on, bend it like Beckham.’ I get taken out at second on a double play and the ump says ‘I ought to give you a red card for that dive.’ It gets old.”

Gordon Beckham said the worst part is when he goes to autograph signings. There is always a long line of girls waiting to see him. When they get up to him, they are disappointed to find out he’s the wrong Beckham

When told of the effect he has had on Gordon, David Beckham said the solution is pretty simple.

“When a player gets worse at something, he should just do what I did. Find a worse league to play in,” he said. “Coming to the states was great–I never have to train and everyone thinks I’m great. Gordon just needs to find a worse team to play on. Do the Cubs have a second baseman?”