As the Bears prepare to face the resurgent Broncos later this week, GM Jerry Angelo has announced a surprise personnel move to counter the play of rookie QB Tim Tebow by hiring Pontius Pilate as an assistant coach on the defensive line. Pilate, the fifth prefect of the Roman providence of Judaea, has no prior coaching experience, but should be able to apply his expertise in the area of defeating messiahs.
“We can all agree that Tebow’s success has nothing to do with football ability,” said Angelo. “Something else is going on here, so we decided to think outside the box. Given the track record Pontius has as an interpreter of Roman Law, we felt that his insight would give us our best chance to somehow defeat Tim Tebow.”
Pilate has issued a press release, wherein he claimed that Tebow believes he is the “King of the Broncos.” When Tebow was informed of this accusation, he lowered his head and replied, “It is as he says.”