In a surprising move, the White Sox announced Monday night that Ozzie Guillen would be replaced as manager by his son Oney, who will communicate with the team exclusively via Twitter, which is the only way he knows how to express himself.
“Okaaaay. Now Juan Pierrr you bunt to leadofff,” Oney wrote at 3 a.m. Tuesday, apparently preparing for his first game Tuesday night at U.S. Cellular Field against the Blue Jays. “Tehn whan Juan get on 1stbase, Alexeee gonna hit ball deep ingap.”
Sox players weren’t too concerned about their new manager’s communication tactics.
“I guess if we wanted to pay attention to him we’d have to carry around our phones while playing or something,” said outfielder Alex Rios. “But we quit listening to Ozzie in July so we sure as hell don’t need to listen to his stupid kid the last two games of this god-awful season.”