Under strict orders from Steelers management to avoid the Dallas nightclub scene during Super Bowl week, Pittsburgh quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has been forced to scope the ladies at less-than-ideal venues, such as local steak house chain Texas Land & Cattle.
“I’ve seen better,” admitted Roethlisberger, referring to the 38-year-old blonde tending bar. “But I can make it work if she can. Know what I’m saying? Aw yeah, it’s on. Another round of Lone Star Iced Teas for me and the boys!”
Worried that Big Ben might be headed toward more sanctions for violating the league’s personal conduct policy, Steelers teammate Troy Polamalu tried to defuse the situation.
“No, no, no…” he said, blocking Roethlisberger’s arm as he tried to grab the bartender’s breast. “Remember when we talked about ‘consent?’ C’mon, I’m shooting a Head & Shoulders commercial tomorrow and I bet we can find you a nice craft service girl or something.”
Roethlisberger momentarily restrained himself, but was later seen buying drinks and appetizers for a group of underage SMU chicks.