Former Cubs outfielder and headcase Milton Bradley slightly surprised a very small group of Cubs fans with reports that he had been arrested on felony charges last week. These three Cubs fans, who never once had guessed that the former All-Star might have anger issues, said charges of making threats against an unidentified woman were “pretty shocking.”

Glenda Higgins, 82, was one of the fans unaware of Bradley’s hot streak.

“I can’t believe that such an even-headed player, a man who draws so many walks, could be capable of losing his head so badly that he could get arrested for it,” she said. “He seemed like such a nice, down-to-Earth man.”

Most of the three Cubs fans agreed that, of all the crimes Bradley could have been accused of, making verbal threats was very low on the list.

“Tax evasion? Sure, ballplayers make a lot of money,” said Clarence Johnson, 73. “That would make more sense than making threats. The Milton Bradley I saw at that one game in 2009, I couldn’t imagine him doing that.”

All three Cubs fans admit to being mystified as to the reason why Bradley was traded from the Cubs in the first place, since with his high on base percentage, he would’ve had to be a clubhouse cancer to warrant being traded so rashly.

Jeff GoodSmith