As the All-Star game approaches with a unique format allowing two “captains” to choose their teams, sources say that, though last year’s Norris Trophy winner Duncan Keith is likely to be picked relatively early, the teeth he lost during the playoffs are considered to be the consensus last pick.

“Well, we all know that Keith is a great two-way defender, and he’s been one of the better penalty killers in the league for some time,” said team captain Nick Lidstrom. “Those seven teeth though? They’re just a total mess when not connected to his head. They’re immobile, not organized. I can’t see anyone wanting to bypass another All-Star to get those teeth on their squad.”

Carolina Hurricanes goalie Cam Ward, who ranks 25th in Goals Against Average, breathed a sigh of relief when he heard the news.

Jeff GoodSmith