Just hours after the Big Ten announced both Northwestern and Illinois would use only the west end zone during Saturday’s game at Wrigley Field, the Canadian Football League canceled its tentative plans to host a 2011 exhibition game at the Friendly Confines.

“If that stadium doesn’t have room for a typical 100-yard field with 10-yard end zones, what the heck are we going to do with our 110-yard field and 20-yard endzones?” said CFL commissioner Mark Cohon. “That hoser [Cubs president Crane] Kenney said he’d make it work for us but it sounds like he said the same thing to the Big Ten. He’s a no-good artificial maple syrup salesman is what he is.”