Cubs President Crane Kenney today revealed that his team hadn’t done a thorough analysis of its fans ticket-buying patterns until this year when their tickets finally stopped selling well.

“Back in the good ol’ days fans paid whatever we asked and everyone was happy,” said Kenney. “But now that no one wants to drop $60 on a bleacher ticket for a midweek game against Pittsburgh, we decided it was time to do a super deep analysis by saying, ‘So what are the buying patterns?’

Kenney said his staff was shocked to learn that Cubs fans don’t always enjoy being gouged on tickets to meaningless baseball games.

“We were also surprised to learn that given the choice between buying a ticket for a face value of $60 from and a less expensive ticket from a scalper, fans usually buy the cheaper ticket,” said Kenney.  “Apparently, our fans don’t have a bottomless well of money to waste on tickets to watch an inferior baseball team. Who knew?”