News broke Thursday morning that Jay Cutler has been ruled out for Sunday’s game in Carolina due to lingering effects from a concussion suffered last week, when he was sacked by the Giants nine times. Normally a backup would be eager to take a starter’s place, but neither Todd Collins nor Caleb Hanie wants the role.

“Yeah, you know,  I’ve been in the league a long time, I think it’s Caleb’s turn,” said Collins, who played briefly in relief of Cutler Sunday night but was quickly knocked out himself. “Let the young guy give it a shot.”

Hanie was quick to call “not it.”

“Todd’s the guy with all the experience,” said Hanie. “Plus he really knows how to take a hit. That’s a true talent and one I don’t have.”

If neither guy mans up, offensive coordinator Mike Martz will find himself strapped.

“I’ve been digging through my Rolodex,” said Martz. “I’ve called every pro quarterback who’s ever played for me: Kurt Warner, Gus Frerotte, Jeff Hostetler, Trent Green … even Jon Kitna. They all gave me some lame excuses. Kurt told me he was going to a bible camp. Kitna said he had to stay in to wash his hair and I’m pretty sure he’s still got a shaved head.”