A scout for the Cubs on Monday witnessed the now-infamous fan in Houston who eluded a foul ball that hit his girlfriend. Jim Hendry today consequently announced the Cubs signing of the young man to a contact through the remainder of the 2010 season.

“All we know is that his name is Bo and we don’t believe his last name is Bartman,” Hendry said. “He made a valiant effort for the ball and that’s more than we’ve come to expect from our club this year.”

Bo will be used primarily as a late-inning defensive replacement in left, which scouts claim is his natural spectator position. No word yet on if he will be able to wear his hat sideways during the games. Analysts are criticizing the move as a shameless promotion and cost cutting measure.

But, interim manager Alan Trammell stood firm on the abilities of his new acquisition.

“He’s human and he lost the ball in the lights,” said Trammell. “The error should have been charged to the woman. She was in much better position to make the play.”

By Brian Berns

hecklerbrad