Cubs Fantasy Camp at Wrigley Field is the latest in a series of revenue-enhancers announced by the Cubs in 2010, following the PNC Club, the Toyota sign and the Noodle. The cost for the event, which is running Monday and Tuesday is $7,500 per person.

Shortly following the announcement, 45,000 Cubs fans chipped in 50 cents each to fund the enrollment of Alfonso Soriano, Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez so that the maligned trio can learn basics of the game from Ernie Banks and Billy Williams.

Lifetime Cubs fan Monica Delpy added two cents extra.

“Since these millionaire slackers are pretending to be Cubs, they might as well join other wealthy people pretending to be Cubs,” said Delpy.

Cubs president Crane Kenney said that he would like Soriano, Lee and Ramirez to learn how to hit, but questions their willingness to learn.

“The top students at Fantasy Camp will probably be fans like Marcus DeSade, Esq., from Winnetka, whose certified check I received yesterday,” said Kenney. “I wouldn’t hold my breath on someone like Rammy trying to improve himself.”

Most participants at the Cubs Fantasy Camp at Wrigley Field will be granted access to the team clubhouse, and will sign one-day Cubs contracts. In Soriano’s, Lee’s and Ramirez’s instance, however, each will be invited to waive his no-trade clause and tear up his contract.

From the July 2010 issue by Rob C. Christiansen. Click here to subscribe today!