Cubs TV announcer Len Kasper will be heading to anger management classes after an on-air tirade during Wednesday night’s loss to the Dodgers. Lamenting the game’s outcome and 15-minute delay brought on by a power outage, Kasper unleashed a slew of “Darnitalls,” “What the hecks?” and “Good griefs.” WGN censors were not able to bleep out the profanity-laced outburst in time, subjecting millions of innocent children to Kasper’s foul-mouthed rant.

“I have let down my family and the great city of Chicago,” said Kasper in a written statement Thursday morning. “That type of language belongs where it came from: the sewer.”

Despite Kasper’s apology, many parents are unforgiving. The Parents Television Council (PTC) has lodged a complaint with the FCC, condemning Kasper’s antics.

“After watching the Cubs game, my six-year old son told me his dinner was ‘doggone unpleasant,'” said PTC spokesman Kenneth Shaw. “The only place he would hear that kind of filth is from the rancid mouth of Len Kasper.”

If Kasper’s on-air demeanor does not improve, the announcer will have to find himself a new outlet to air his crude shtick.

“Kasper would fit in on satellite radio,” said a media analyst. “It would be an all-out war with Howard Stern for the dirtiest mouth in America.”

From the May 2010 issue by Jimmy Juliano. Click here to subscribe today!