Confused manager set to insert star of movie ‘Major League’ in right field

Word came from Cubs camp in Mesa Wednesday that GM Jim Hendry inked 21-year-old pitcher Juan Yasser Serrano, a Cuban defector, to a minor league deal. However, a case of mistaken identity had manager Lou Piniella “giggly” according to staffers.

Thinking his team signed slugger Pedro Cerrano from the 1989 film “Major League,” Piniella felt a missing piece had been added to his lineup.

“Look, that guy can really thump the ball,” said the Cubs skipper. “And that little mascot of his, Jobu, he’ll fit in really nicely in the clubhouse. Yeah, it’s a solid addition. Cerrano is going to start for us tomorrow in right field.

“Gosh, I loved that movie.”

When it was explained to Piniella that Pedro Cerrano is a fictitious ballplayer and would now be 56-years-old, he finally came to his senses.

“Well what about that guy Hayes, Willie ‘Mays’ Hayes?” asked Piniella. “He’s still out there right? We can sign him and maybe that guy Dorn and that will give us a nice little ballclub. It really will.”

By Jeremy Barewin