Cubs officials and law enforcement authorities are both concerned as Lou Piniella has gone AWOL somewhere between Arizona and Las Vegas, where the team is currently playing a pair of split squad games.
“We thought he was with the team in Mesa and the people there thought he was in Vegas,” said team president Crane Kenney who traveled with the Cubs to Las Vegas where it’s taking on the White Sox. “Turns out he’s not in either location.”
Piniella was last seen Thursday evening at the team’s Vegas hotel. No one has heard from him since.
“Both cities are prime locations for senior citizens, so he could survive for months, if not years on his own,” said Las Vegas Police Department spokesman Guy “We just hope that if he is in Vegas he’s taking advantage of any one of our city’s thousand penny slot machines or early bird discount buffets that cater especially to seniors.”
There is some speculation that Piniella may have become disoriented when trying to make out a lineup for either of Friday’s games.
“With the squad we’re expecting to have by the end of camp, we’re asking a lot of Lou this season,” said Kenney. “It’s a lot of pressure for a man of any age, let alone at his advanced state. We just want him to make it home safely so he can help us figure out what to do with our bullpen and starting rotation.”
By Brad Zibung, founder and editor in chief