The Heckler’s March issue has hit the streets just in time for Spring Training’s sweet spot.

Like every issue, this one’s packed with  unbelievable sports news. Click here to subscribe.

Among this issue’s headlines
Cubs news
Cubs unveil Spring Training beer bong at HoHoKam

Two dorks injured as Cubs blogger war turns violent

Cubs to garnish your wages; ‘You’ll get some top notch tickets all right!’ says Kenney

Cubs unveil ‘trough express’ passes at Wrigley

Piniella debuts new ‘super gut’ from offseason laziness

Soriano to use redwood tree for bat

Ronnie Woo-Woo finds old broken typewriter in alley; Only has ‘W’ and ‘O’ keys so he can still write memoirs

Fan shows up to Spring Training way, way out of shape

Total piece of crap becomes valuable by adding Cubs logo

MIT professors prove right field does, indeed, suck

Parking lot cornhole better than spring game

Woo-Woo in History: The Ides of March

White Sox news
Overexcited Harrelson predicts Sox will win 267 games, World Series

Sox offer 20% ticket discount to any fan carrying a credit card, which must have their name on it

Sox fans’ Spring Training bus trip results in 6-state crime spree

Sox to broadcast games in Spanish; Also considering English

Sox agree to UFC cross-promotion at the Cell; Reinsdorf: ‘We’re basically going to put an octagon fence around our fans’

Other sports news
Comcast SportsNet launches new show ‘Chicago Sports Team PR Hour’

Kevin Gregg about to be banished to another country

McGwire, Clemens, Bonds, Canseco form boy band: ‘Performance Enhancing Thugz’

Mike Martz develops 126 more plays this week

Rod Marinelli has puppet strings installed in back

Bears, Bulls sign Peppers as DE/power forward

Bears hypnotize season ticket holders prior to raising prices on seats

Blackhawks Olympic stars miss trees, dirt, fresh air and other comforts of Canada

Four athletes get DUIs as media hounds Kane for being a little tipsy on bus

Tearful Dick Vitale reveals he’s been faking enthusiasm for the past 10 years

Columnist Johnny Blaze has a one-way ticket to Trendyville after getting a Facebook page and Joe Malonecki is all fired up about the South Side Jersey Shore project

Brad Zibung
Founder & Publisher

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