A recent study has determined that steroid use among idiot Cardinals fans has skyrocketed 50 percent since Mark McGwire’s announcement he used performance enhancers throughout his playing career.

McGwire is now the Cardinals’ hitting coach and was given a standing ovation by idiot Cardinals fans at his first public appearance since his confession. Seeing the warm reception, many idiot Cardinals fans decided the only way they could really fit in was if they injected their idiot bodies with steroids.

While the report could not determine if all Cardinals fans were idiots, the study concluded, “No matter their favored baseball team, anyone who still thinks fondly of Mark McGwire is an idiot.”

From the February 2010 issue by Jeff GoodSmith. Subscribe today!

File photo of idiot Cards fan from MoronsWithSigns.com.