On the heels of the NFL Network’s launch, Major League Baseball officials announced plans to roll out its own channel in the near future. Unlike its pigskin counterpart, though, the baseball cable station will rely mostly on original programming.

“We really want to promote unique content to distinguish our approach from the NFL’s,” said Major League Baseball Advanced Media CEO Robert Bowman. “Quite honestly, we couldn’t take their tack if we wanted to. For one thing, our highlight reels lack both the quick-cut editing and voice-of-God narration of NFL Films. And we’re not just going to fill up all that airtime with recent and archived games–nobody wants to watch that much baseball.”

Instead, the MLB channel will broadcast hours of new shows. Among the early ideas pitched were “Who Wants to Marry Darryl Strawberry?” and “Jason Giambi’s Funhouse,” a children’s program set in a “magical bathroom stall in the Yankees’ locker room.”

“We’ve got to give the people what they want,” Bowman said. “How else are we going to get sponsors like Mitchum and Scott’s Lawn and Garden on board?”

heckler editorial staff