After his quick start to the season was delayed by a nagging wrist injury, Cubs third baseman Aramis Ramirez plans to take loafing into uncharted territory this season by playing third base while resting comfortably in a hammock.
Although the move will certainly limit Ramirez’s range in the field, the slothful slugger claims he will pick up the slack offensively to make up for his inevitable defensive miscues.
“My goal is to put up at least marginal numbers the first half of the season,” said Ramirez. “When Derrek Lee went down last year, everyone was expecting me to carry the offensive load. After I failed miserably, I decided it was because I was too tired from playing defense.”
Lounging in a hammock is just one of several changes fans will see out of Ramirez in 2007. He will also drive to the third-base position in a golf cart and will select one lucky fan each game to be his personal pinch runner.