Why They Might Be Good: Creaky Charlotte co-owner Michael Jordan will not be taking the court. “I very badly wanted to play,” Jordan griped. “I’m in great shape. I’ve never shot better. But [Bobcats majority owner] Robert Johnson said that if he sees me in a pair of sneakers, he’ll club me like a baby seal.” Also, oddly versatile swingman Gerald Wallace is a legitimate threat to get a sextuple-double each night.
Why They Might Suck: If you turn to Section VI of the NBA Rule Book, you’ll see that, “No expansion team located in a city with a population of less than 6,000,000 (six million) shall win more than 31 (thirty-one) games until they have been in the league for 7 (seven) seasons.” Plus their two most experienced players are undersized forward Othella Harrington and undertalented center Jake Voskuhl.
The Dude Other Than Wallace Who I Want on My Fantasy Team: Adam Morrison. The majority of fantasy basketball geeks live by a “no rookies” rule, but it’s either the sharp-shooting frosh, or brittle center Emeka Okafor, who—according to team sources—has already made a reservation at the Injured Reserve Café for 8 P.M. on Nov. 6.
Bottom Line: The outlook is good, as Jordan is trying to build a team in his own mold. “I want every Charlotte Bobcat to look into the mirror and see me: a gambling-addicted, cuckolding, arrogant, obsessive, truth-bending grouch.”