The Detroit Lions come into their Week 2 match-up against the Bears with huge expectations—according to one of them, anyway. Despite the fact the Lions offense scored just six points on Sunday and will be facing one of the NFL’s top defenses, wide receiver Roy Williams is pretty confident his team will get its first win this week at Soldier Field.


“We will win this game,” Williams said. “Y’all can take that as a guarantee or what not, but we will win this game. You can take that as a guarantee if you want.”


Bears safety Mike Brown could hardly contain himself after hearing Williams’ comments.


“He said what?” Brown asked. He then began laughing and called over cornerback Nathan Vasher. “Nate, Roy Williams said…”


But Brown couldn’t get the words out before he started laughing hysterically, eventually falling to the floor. When Vasher was informed of the comments, he too was knocked down by the force of his own laughter.


Brown’s secondary mate Chris Harris could hardly believe what he had heard.


“Pffttt! You’ve gotta be kidding!” Harris exclaimed, gasping for air. “Does he actually think…does he actually think…”


Head coach Lovie Smith couldn’t believe his ears, either.


“That’s pretty good!” Smith said, causing him to crack a smile and show emotion for the first time in his tenure. “That’s the funniest damn thing I’ve heard in years.”


By the end of the day, word of Williams’ guarantee had spread throughout the Bears locker room. Eight defensive starters and two coaches were lined up for treatment in the trainer’s room, complaining of stomach cramps from laughing so hard.


“It’s funny because the Lions suck.” Brian Urlacher said.

heckler editorial staff