White Sox to shoot off fireworks any time they advance a runner to second base
by Mariotti Jr.
on Jul 8, 2013
The Chicago White Sox have announced they will shoot off fireworks anytime they advance a runner to second base for the duration of the season. Beleaguered manager Robin Ventura came up with the novel idea.
“I tried extra batting practice, no batting practice, a bunting tournament, nothing worked,” said Ventura. “But we do have a huge surplus on fireworks, so I figured maybe that would work as motivation. The only fireworks I’ve seen this season have been Adam Dunn’s profane tirades after striking out.”
Some of the players liked the idea.
“I’ve loved fireworks ever since I was a little boy,” Alexei Ramirez said. “Too bad I only have one home run all season so far.”
“Doesn’t matter to me,” pitcher Chris Sale said. “I don’t hit.”
Neither has the rest of the team.