“Luol had a great career and we’re honored he wanted to retire with us,” said VP of Basketball Operations John Paxson. "But when you have a chance for a retired guy like Dwyane Wade to be a member of your team, you have to go after it."
Highlights will include Bynum’s trip to the airport, the failed team physical and of course the lengthy dialogue between Bynum and the equipment manager about which bowling alleys near the United Center had the best Chinese food buffet.
"The deal almost hit a snag this afternoon when it was reported that they were going to add plain yellow mustard," said Bulls GM Gar Forman. "I wouldn't accept anything less than stone ground or dijon."
"I didn't know the Bulls kept playing after they lost Rose for the year," said Michael Denberski of Oak Park. "I just assumed they packed it up back then."
"In my time as chairman of the Federal Reserve, I oversaw quantitative easing and many other extremely complex international economic policies and practices," said Bernanke. "The NBA's collective bargaining agreement makes smoke come out of my ears."
“Let’s not forget what the All-Star Game is all about," said Stern. "It’s a showcase for our league’s finest athletes to nurse hangovers, hog the ball, launch ill-advised shots, stand around on defense, and throw alley-oop passes off the backboard to themselves.”
After Saturday's embarrassing loss to the cellar-dwelling New Jersey Nets, tempers were boiling over as players left the building. The now 25-8 Chicago Bulls seem to have a grasp on this season. Aside from a couple injured starters, this roster doesn't skip a beat. But even the well-oiled machine of Tom Thibodeau can hit a pothole, just like every other driver in Chicago.