Thursday, April 25, 2024

NFL Playoffs: Giants, Chargers win upsets; Pats, Pack to host title games

Ho-hum, the Patriots win again. Tom Brady was nearly perfect, completing 26-28 passes with three TDs. In his career, Brady has a 13-2 postseason record.

AFC Divisonal Playoff Preview: San Diego Chargers at Indianapolis Colts

It's going to be up to the Colts offensive line to keep the Chargers aggressive defense off of Peyton Manning. It's going to be up to Manning to find ways to get receivers Reggie Wayne, Marvin Harrison and Dallas Clark the football in the face of a solid San Diego secondary.

NBA Preview: Washington Wizards

Why They Might Be Good: Off the court, stud Wiz point guard Gilbert Arenas is one of the more genial professional ballers around. On the court, he'll kill your mother. (Actually, three years ago, in a meaningless late-season game against the Bulls, he killed Tyson Chandler's pit bull, Brick.) His grouchiness, combined with forward Antawn Jamison's ability to confuse opponents with the pronunciation of his first name, should catapult Washington into the first division.

NBA Preview: Utah Jazz

Why They Might Be Good: Few teams have had better luck than the Jazz with overseas players: Russian forward Andrei Kirilenko, Turkish center Mehmet Okur, Croatian sharpshooter Gordon Giracek. But this year, Coach Jerry Sloan went universal, picking up Martian swingman Gleepnork, Venutian power forward .000100001100101 and rookie space cadet Dee Brown.

NBA Preview: Seattle Supersonics

Why They Might Be Good: The combination of shot-making guard Ray Allen, the team's young legs, and the easy access to energy-reviving Starbucks coffee courtesy of soon-to-be-former team owner Howard Schultz guarantees that on any given night, the Sonics can run anybody out of the gym.

NBA Preview: Phoenix Suns

Why They Might Be Good: Amare Stoudamire has apparently fully recovered from last year's knee issues, although it's been reported that his vertical leap took a hit, dropping from eight feet to 6.5 inches. And Steve Nash has vowed to play this season with a chip on his shoulder—although since he's a super-nice Canadian chap, the chip is only the size of an Intel 64-bit microchip.

NBA Preview: Los Angeles Lakers

Why They Might Be Good: Attitudinal off-guard Kobe Bryant has made a promise to Lakers fans: "We're going back to the Finals. How? By me taking zero shots a game. If I get my teammates involved—teammates like [streaky guard] Sasha Vujacic, [streaky guard] Maurice Evans, and [streaky guard] Jimmy Jackson—there's no stopping us."