Denver

As the Bears prepare to face the resurgent Broncos later this month, GM Jerry Angelo has announced a surprise personnel move to counter the play of rookie QB Tim Tebow by hiring Pontius Pilate as an assistant coach on the defensive line. Pilate, the fifth prefect of the Roman providence of Judaea, has no prior coaching experience, but should be able to apply his expertise in the area of defeating messiahs.

In the midst of a remarkable hot streak, Broncos QB Tim Tebow has decided to put his team’s AFC West lead in jeopardy by sitting out next week’s game against the Bears so he can play Baby Jesus in his local church’s annual living nativity.

In a shocking turn of events that has rejuvenated the playoff hopes of the Bears, Broncos QB Tim Tebow has managed to heal RB Matt Forte and QB Jay Cutler during a visit to the visitors' clubhouse before Sunday's game in Denver.

"It was shocking to see that not only can most Americans name Tebow as the only player they know on the Broncos," said Jake Stanton, the researcher who conducted the survey, "but they apparently also believe he is the only player on the Broncos."

Two media phenomenons collided today when a blogger posted a sexually suggestive headline about Tim Tebow and Kim Kardashian for no other reason than to drive traffic to his blog and hopefully break the Internet.

Tim Tebow is already taking over the NFL, but now it appears he's trying to take over for Jay Cutler as the main squeeze of Kristin Cavallari. The two were seen out and about in downtown Denver Tuesday afternoon much to the surprise of anyone who follows any of the young celebrities involved.

“That was all me, Elisha Nelson Manning, No. 10 in your scorecard and No. 1 in your hearts, no divine intervention here,” screamed the Giants QB as he ran on the field to celebrate with his teammates. “Blasphemy be damned. Come at me bro!”