"They knew the clinched the East halfway through our game," said Cubs manager Dale Sveum. "It's bush league to have a big celebration on our field an hour after that when they finally beat us."
"I've not been with the Cubs long, but I'm well aware of how cursed this franchise has been through the years," said team president Theo Epstein. "We're all dreading the very likely possibility that Ryan will blow out his elbow in Pittsburgh this afternoon."
Ryan Dempster was thrilled to be traded to Braves Monday because being close to Tyler Perry's Atlanta studios will allow him the chance to expand upon his comedy career by auditioning for the role of "Dorky White Guy 3" in Perry's next film, "Madea Goes to Fat Camp."
Atlanta third baseman Chipper Jones has announced a deal with Hoveround. Jones, who recently slipped while stretching just moments before he announced his plans to retire after the 2012 season, has decided to try to get some help.
Not too long ago Derrek Lee was the anchor of a promising Cubs squad that lead the NL in wins. Now after verbally agreeing to a one-year contract with the lowly Orioles, Lee's on the verge of obscurity after sulking his way to a mediocre 2010 campaign with the Cubs and Braves.