Illinois

Toyota Park, home of the MLS's Chicago Fire, is being recalled due to a design defect that causes fans to experience rapid, uncontrolled acceleration of beer consumption.

Cubs manager Lou Piniella, curious about the popular social networking website Twitter following news yesterday from White Sox camp that manager Ozzie Guillen would be tweeting on a regular basis this Spring Training, had a team intern create a personal account for him under the screen name "Sweet Lou 1943."

The Cubs' $136 million man Alfonso Soriano reported to camp in Mesa Monday claiming he is only 80 to 85 recovered from the arthroscopic knee surgery he had last September, which leaves fans wondering what the hell he's been doing for the past five months.

Any time White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen does anything it seems to be newsworthy in Chicago and throughout the sports world. So it should surprise no one that when he created a Twitter account earlier this week media from around the country made a huge deal about it.

His foot injury is serious enough to keep Joakim Noah on the bench for long stretches during recent games. But the Bulls center still finds his case of plantar fasciitis a laughing matter, giggling like a schoolgirl anytime anyone mentions the ailment.

Just as another spring was opening with the usual glimmer of hope, another "Cubbie occurrence" happened in Mesa.

As the clock wound down on Sunday night's historic USA-Canada men's hockey game, the true spirit of the modern-day Olympics was finally realized as a team of American millionaires defeated a team of Canadian millionaires 5-3 in Vancouver.