Any time White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen does anything it seems to be newsworthy in Chicago and throughout the sports world. So it should surprise no one that when he created a Twitter account earlier this week media from around the country made a huge deal about it.

“Finally I am on this twitter thing it’s about time!” Tweeted Guillen, adding just 30 minutes later: “Going to eat in half hour why dye no have a job ?”

The White Sox PR department later created an account to clarify Guillien’s many sure missteps:

“We love Ozzie and encourage him to speak his mind freely,” said the White Sox in a statement released Wednesday. “However, we launched our own Twitter profile because we’ve learned that often Ozzie’s quotes need a little clarification to help fend off groups like the NAACP, GLAD, PETA, the AFL-CIO, the NRA, OSHA, the FBI, the UAW, the John Birch Society, Al Qaeda, National Right to Life, NORML, Amnesty International, the IOC and NASA among many others.”

While Guillen made headlines for his attempts to take a first-person approach to the Internet, Cubs manager Lou Piniella has maintained an old-school approach to life, be it social media or performance enhancing drugs.

“Oh hell, I dunno what a Twitter is,” said Piniella. “I couldn’t tell you the difference between a Twitter, a steroid, a reefer or a quaalude.”

“In my day we did lots and lots of amphetamines, you know, amps, black beauties, rippers, brain ticklers, horse heads, road dope or whatever you want to call them,” said Piniella, gazing off into the distance. “I guess we did a lot of coke back then too, but hell if I remember. Those were simpler times. So, you want to ask me what a Twitter is? Gosh, I couldn’t tell ya. I just know they’re testing for all that stuff these days and eventually they’ll completely clean this game up, god bless ’em.”

By Brad Zibung, founder and editor in chief