Cubs

Franklin, who grew up in Chicago and moved to New York for college a few years after the Cubs 2003 NLCS collapse, has been concerning his friends during the past few days, according to various sources.

“My favorite one to call is the high and tight fastball strike right under the batter’s chin,” said Rob Drake, who unceremoniously called balls and strikes during NLCS Game 1 on Saturday. “Not only do they start their at-bat 0-1, but they usually fall flat on their asses, which is pretty damn hilarious to watch.”

"Apparently my wife committed us to some birthday dinner that night," said Winters. "I was hoping it would be at a sports bar or something but it's at a fancy place without TVs or anything."

It's Chicago against New York. Edder Vedder vs. 50 Cent. Deep dish pizza vs. cardboard covered in tomato sauce.

Cubs manager Joe Maddon applauded his team's effort, saying, "I tell you what, I'm proud of these boys, they played hard and didn't let anything faze them. Even when we were heading home, there were three instances of balls just appearing out of nowhere, and these guys didn't even miss a beat. They hit them straight out of the park."

Chicago Cubs Playoff Bingo: Play and/or drink along as the Cubs take on the Cardinals in Game 1 of the NLDS. It's their first-ever playoff matchup!

It's Cubs-Cards ... IN THE PLAYOFFS!