Cubs

This weekend the Cubs placed perpetual headache Carlos Marmol on the rarely used 650-day DL due to a right hamstring injury, meaning the team will not have to deal with the league's most inconsistent high-profile reliever in recent memory until his contract expires at the end of next season.

While most Cubs players took Thursday to enjoy a much-needed day off between their respective series with the Braves and Brewers, ace pitcher Ryan Dempster spent the day working toward his elusive first victory.

The 2012 Cubs are poised to win the franchise’s first World Series in more than a century, says Lakeview native Bob Benson, pointing to the team’s recent achievement of four victories in six games.

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I certainly expected there to be growing pains with the new direction we’re headed with Theo Epstein but, well, this … it’s too much, too many errors, too many guys hitting half their weight. I don’ t know if I can make the whole season watching this [expletive deleted]," Ricketts lamented. “As owner, I’m expected to attend the majority of our games, but why?"

“I know Major League Baseball keeps track of official wins and losses, but as a true Chicago Cub I find these standings to be flawed," said Sveum. "This year we are keeping our own standings which include moral victories as wins. Moral Victories (MV’s) can be anything that makes us feel like a real professional baseball team."

Friday afternoon's Cubs-Dodgers game came to a scary halt in the 5th inning, when a flock of seagulls turned on Cubs center fielder Tony Campana. The angry seagulls attacked Campana, and after a quick assault, flew away with the four-foot-six, 32-pound lefty was seen flying north as the awestruck fans looked on in terror.