Thursday, December 8, 2022

Pittsburgh mascot inserted in lineup in order to draw fans

“We went with Parrot because he won’t scare kids away, like Captain Jolly possibly might,” said the team's head of marketing.

Sidney Crosby terrifies teammates with impression of the exploding head from ‘Scanners’

"It was pretty graphic," teammate James Neal told reporters. "I mean, we'll be walking to the ice for practice, and he'll start rubbing his temples and complaining that he thinks the headaches are coming back, and after a while he starts screaming, 'Oh no concussion!' then the next thing you know... pop. His head just explodes. It looks exactly like that scene from 'Scanners.' We all rush over and Sid just starts laughing at us. Not cool."

Ben Roethlisberger vows to get even fatter in offseason

“No, I’m not going to work out at all,” Big Ben said. “I plan on eating, sleeping, and eating. No ‘assaulting,' no motorcycle riding, just eating 'til my last name looks smaller on my jersey.”

Cubs petition MLB to not keep score in 2012

“Baseball is better when you don’t keep score,” Epstein said. “We teach kids from an early age that it’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game. It’s time to practice what we preach. This is all about the kids.”

Yankees ‘passed the hat’ to ensure Burnett’s trade to the Pirates

No one in the Yankees’ clubhouse will speak openly about it, but a grassroots movement in Tampa helped make the trade of A. J. Burnett to the Pirates earlier this week a reality.

Breaking News: Penguins sign James Harrison for remainder of Flyers series

An earlier game of the Penguins-Flyers playoff series featured 158 penalty minutes, four ejections, superstars Sidney Crosby and Claude Giroux dropping gloves. Facing the possibility of a first round elimination, the Penguins called for reinforcements by adding Steelers Pro Bowl LB James Harrison to their roster.