Outgoing President Donald Trump doled out Medals of Freedom Thursday, giving one to part-owner of the Cubs, Todd Ricketts. Having served as Trump’s chief fundraiser, Ricketts got an extra bonus.
“President Trump awarded me an honorary doctorate from his esteemed university,” said Ricketts. “From now on, call me Dr. Todd Ricketts.”
Ricketts has unknowingly angered his siblings with the distinction from the defunct Trump University.
“Look, we’re mostly all thankful Todd helped raise millions upon millions of dollars for Trump’s losing campaign,” said brother and Nebraska Gov. Pete Ricketts, “but does he have to insist that we call him ‘Doctor’ for the rest of his life? I mean, the guy only graduated high school because Dad paid the school to let him speed through grades K through 12 in a few months…”
Added Pete Ricketts: “Wait, maybe I’m thinking of ‘Billy Madison.’ Same difference I guess.”