In order to feel “more comfortable” while playing at an empty Camden Yards, the Baltimore Orioles today announced that they will pipe in artificial sounds of fans booing the home team throughout the shortened 60-game 2020 season.

“We’ve only won 101 games our last two years,” said manager Brandon Hyde. “It’s been ugly and the fans who do show up don’t take it easy on us so we need to do whatever we can to make sure our guys feel like it’s a regular home game.”

Added Hyde: “How else will Chris Davis know he’s an overpaid bum with three years left on his albatross of a contract if we don’t have computer-generated verbal hatred raining down on him after he swings and misses at an 0-2 curveball three feet in front of the plate for his fourth strikeout of the game?”