A few months ago, LSU quarterback Joe Burrow was considered the clear No. 1 pick in the draft. While he didn’t do anything to hurt his stock, another individual just did too much to raise his own.

“I am excited to be moving down to Florida,” Dr. Anthony Fauci said after the Dolphins traded up to select him with the first overall pick. “I am truly shocked to be getting this news. My 40 isn’t what it used to be, but I plan on taking my talents to South Beach and giving it my all.”

“Yes it’s true we did desperately need a franchise quarterback,” Dolphins GM Chris Grier said. “But there are some things you just can’t teach. And all of the things that Fauci knows and can do, I literally know nobody who can teach that. He is truly one of a kind and we are excited to have him here.”

Fauci has already taken a leadership role with the team by determining exactly when they can begin reuniting and practicing together. Fauci was asked if he could make the Dolphins a contender by next season.

“I’m a genius, but not a miracle-worker,” said Fauci.