The Bulls are reportedly about to hire Nuggets GM Arturas Karnisovas as their new head of basketball operations, replacing the much-maligned duo of John Paxson and Gar Forman just in time for the apocalypse.

“We appreciate what Gar and John have given our organization,” said team President Michael Reinsdorf, “but now that the end of times is upon us, we owe it to our fans to bring in fresh leadership.”

Reinsdorf added that the Bulls also planned to slash ticket prices by 50 percent across the board now that the NBA season has been postponed and will probably never be resumed prior to the world ending.