Whoa Nellie, did Day 1 of The Heckler’s Second-Best Sports Town have some upsets! Top seeds New York (Overrated Bracket) and Boston (Insufferable Bracket) were both beaten by ‘Anywhere Else.’ Meanwhile, in the Moronic Bracket, top seed Los Angeles held on to beat Las Vegas and top seed Pittsburgh routed Portland.

Day 1 Results
Anywhere Else 76 percent
New York 24 percent

Anywhere Else 65 percent
Boston 35 percent

Los Angeles 53 percent
Las Vegas 47 percent

Pittsburgh 72 percent
Portland 28 percent

Day 2 Schedule
2. Philadelphia vs. 7. Green Bay/Milwaukee
2. Dallas vs. 7. St. Louis
2. Washington D.C. vs. 7. Charlotte
2. Oakland vs. 7. San Antonio

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Also, apologies to Cleveland for not making the bracket. Blame our commissioner Joakim Noah.