For several weeks, the baseball world wondered how else the Astros would be punished for the cheating scandal that has tainted their 2017 World Series title. That speculation came to an end today when the team was forced to be forced to hire Dusty Baker as its next manager.

“Today our punishment has been levied and we’re, um, excited to name Dusty as our next manager,” said owner Jim Crane, according to sources. “I guess this is where I’m supposed to say we look forward to having him lead our organization for the next 18 to 24 months.”

The 70-year-old Baker has won more than 1,800 games while managing four teams over 22 years. Despite that success, he’s never won a World Series and has at times drawn criticism of how he handles his pitching staff and for failing to adapt to the changing nature of the sport.

“Dude, I can’t wait to get in there and mix things up,” said Baker. “I don’t care if Greinke and Verlander are each 36. They’ve got at least 250 innings a season left in them. And don’t get me started on how stupid walks are.”

H/T Scott G