There’s a new sheriff in town … and his name is Mike McCarthy. A once proud franchise, the Hooters restaurant waitresses have fallen on hard times. Now more than ever, they needed a savior to guide them back to their glory days of yesterday or more specifically 2008, when Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends did a sincere and seemingly unscripted open-ended casting session there to find a 55th anniversary playmate.
With Jon Gruden at the helm, this franchise seemed destined for years of fried food and tight-top greatness. Sadly, after Gruden left to destroy the Oakland Raiders, these poor women have been left all alone on a sexy island, until now. Effective immediately, Mike McCarthy will assume full operational control of Hoot Camp.
Beset by low morale, worse food than normal and Coors Light being served dangerously close to room temperature, McCarthy is coming into bring order to this wayward franchise. No longer will mediocrity be tolerated.
The move makes sense since most of McCarthy’s food and diet beliefs stem from the Hooters four food groups. They are Hooters French fries, Hooters gravy fries, Hooters cheddar fries and effective immediately, Hooters is proud to announce that available with any large bucket of chicken wings, Hooters Chocolate Ice Cream fries (*available in select locations. Check with manager first. Consult at least three doctors before you even think of eating any of this food.)
Meanwhile, in a thinly veiled text, Packers QB Aaron Rodgers seemingly praised the move stating that “Oh sure … I bet the menu and waitress playcalling will be (air quotes) reaaalll good now that Mike is in charge. After all, he’s my friend and I’m (more air quotes) soooo saaaaddd to see him go. #sorry, not sorry.”