With their third Stanley Cup in six years, the Chicago Blackhawks have announced that Thursday there will a victory parade at Soldier Field.
However, one of the local hockey heroes will be noticeably absent. Corey Crawford will not be allowed to attend, per the FCC.
Fearful of a repeat of Crawford’s infamous 2013 victory speech, the FCC has banned the goalie from the celebration.
“[Expletive] right,” said a frustrated Crawford. “We’ve [expletive] worked our [expletive] off. I’m [expletive] banned? That’s [expletive] [expletive].”
Coach Joel Quenneville found the FCC’s ban unfair, but justified.
“I’m disappointed that Crow won’t be there, but he’s been warned about the salty language. Hopefully the FCC will ban Duncan [Keith] too. I still have no clue what he was talking about in ’13.”