The Nashville Predators are going through painstaking measures to keep Blackhawks fans out of Bridgestone Arena for the opening round, including threatening fans who purchase tickets on the secondary market with added validation measures that will keep them out of the games. Fearful that’s not far enough, the team is now saying it will arrest any fan who dares enter the Preds’ rink wearing Blackhawks gear.

“Ya’ll think ya’ll can just come in our town, drink our beer, dance at our honky-tonks and cheer for your Blackhawks like ya’ll was at ya’lls stadium,” said Predators PR manager Bubby Brisco, Jr. “But let me tell ya’ll something: That ain’t how it’s gonna be.”

Critics claim the Predators’ measures are overkill and run the risk of under-selling the stadium for what should be a great first-round match-up between two very good teams embroiled in a growing rivalry. Still, Brisco insisted the arrests of any Hawks fans who somehow get through the overbearing restrictions will occur no matter what.

“Them people can say whatever they damn-well please,” said Brisco. “This ain’t my first rodeo. Actually, if this was a rodeo instead of a hockey game we might actually sell the damn arena out to people from here instead of ya’ll Yankees up in Chicago.”