If it were April 1, the Chicago Cubs announcing a surprise unveiling of a Kris Bryant statue outside Wrigley Field would have been met with laughter and giggles. However, given April Fool’s Day has come and gone, it looks like the club is telling the truth about debuting a hulking bronze likeness of the slugging phenom who has yet to take a single official cut at a big league fastball. 

Team officials announced this morning that the 14-foot-high tribute would be set in the middle of the intersection of Clark and Addison so passing motorists wouldn’t have to get out of their cars to take selfies near it. And if anyone questions why such an honor was being afforded Bryant, well, you know, he’s “super good,” according to a Cubs spokesperson.

Bryant, widely regarded as MLB’s top prospect, slugged 43 homers in the minors last year and added nine blasts this spring, yet was reassigned to the Cubs’ minor league camp to work on not accruing enough service time to become a free agent until after the 2021 season. But that didn’t stop the team from putting him in the company of Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, Billy Williams and Harry Caray as immortalized icons surrounding the ballpark. 

 “We know he’s going to have a Hall of Fame career,” said President of Baseball Operations Theo Epstein. “So his career starts a couple weeks later than some would like.”

Epstein confirmed he’ll have pro scouting coordinator Andrew Basset record the unveiling ceremony for Bryant so he could watch the video when he’s finally, officially a Cub. Bryant’s agent, Scott Boras, had no comment.

Patrick O. Elia