In a move heralded by media experts around the Chicagoland area, the Chicago Cubs have announced that they have ended their relationship with the Vine Line, the team’s longtime official magazine. Instead, the Cubs will begin to offer yearly subscriptions to a print version of the most unbelievable sports media outlet in the world, The Heckler, which they will also sell in Wrigley Field during every home game.
In a statement released by a public relations spokesperson of the team, the Cubs claimed, “The Heckler the stories that the fans want to hear, from claiming that the Cubs will play their regular season games in Mesa as opposed to Wrigley, to pointing out that the team can guarantee 90 wins over the next few seasons. While Vine Line had a rich history with the team, they were unfortunately forced to only write about the ‘truth,’ ‘facts,’ and ‘realistically plausible events.’ The Heckler does not have the same restraints.”
The first official Heckler Magazine, featuring a cover story entitled, “Optimistic Renteria guarantees the Cubs will hit at least 20 home runs throughout the 2014 season” will be for sale in Wrigley Field on April 1st.