A Chicago-area medical student is in hot water today after hosting an Olympic party in his home. Flynn Seymour had distributed flyers advertising an “Olympic celebration, complete with women’s skeleton race,” but when several of Seymour’s neighbors arrived, they anticipated watching young women in tight outfits flying down a frozen track but instead found his version of a “skeleton race” shocking.
“Real skeletons, man!” said party attendee Phillip Scott. “Sure, the fact that they were moving at a high rate of speed made it hilarious. But after the first two races I totally called the police.”
Seymour had apparently acquired nearly a dozen full female skeletons from the science wing of Columbia College, where he has been a student for less than half of one semester. They were set up around the basement of his rented house on skis, sleds and snowboards and operated via remote control.
“Not one of the skeletons was on an actual skeleton sled,” said Les Hoffman, an officer at the scene. “Missing a rare opportunity at that joke is the real crime here.”
Prosecutors are pushing for a sentence of four years probation for Seymour, after which he is expected to host a similar party, and invite everyone this time.